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We've added a new category, 'interrupted' for those of you who get interrupted every time you want to get it on!!


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Yesterday I read about someone squirting a pack of ketchup into her panties to avoid having sex. My boyfriend really wanted to get laid but I wasn't in the mood so I squirted a packet of mustard in my panties and told him I had a yeast infection. He totally believed me. no-FMP.

#47
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You are a genius! (24) - You need help! (64)

Nov 2, 2009 03:56 PM - Couples - by Heidi

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Today, I squirted a pack of ketchup into my panties and told my guy that I was on my period so we couldn't have sex. FMP.

#46
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You are a genius! (22) - You need help! (49)

Nov 1, 2009 01:51 PM - Couples - by Heinz57

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Today, I was on my period. The wetness down there made me feel extra horny so I tried to seduce my husband by telling him I was extra wet and turning off the lights. We start to get hot and heavy when abruptly he turns the lights on and sees the bloody sheets. He then proceeds to stab me with his manhood. WIN! FMP

#38
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You are a genius! (29) - You need help! (39)

Oct 29, 2009 01:17 AM - Couples - by Bloody Mary

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I was fooling around with this girl today and was taking my pants off really fast because her parents were going to be home soon. I kicked my pants off how I always do and accidentally kicked her crotch. FMP

#36
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You are a genius! (5) - You need help! (34)

Oct 25, 2009 11:55 PM - Couples - by soccer_

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My pregnant wife stopped giving me any 7 months ago. My balls are constipated. She sent me to Smiths to get bacon because shes craving bacon. I saw "bacon flavored mayonaise" and bought that instead. I stuck my dick in the jar and showed it to her and she called me "a retard" and a "lard penis". in the end, she gave in to her cravings and i got my first bj in 7 months

#35
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You are a genius! (71) - You need help! (14)

Oct 24, 2009 09:49 PM - Couples - by Noname

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My boyfriend is of the jealous type. I was eating a carrot nonchalantly and he accused me of eating it too erotically, so wanting to show him he's better than a carrot, I went down on him in the most erotic way and ended up having a 60 minute romp session. FMP.

#34
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You are a genius! (64) - You need help! (5)

Oct 23, 2009 03:43 PM - Couples - by carotenegirl

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my bfs fav food is cheez its so i got naked and covered myself in them in bed. we had some cheesy sex. FMP

#33
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You are a genius! (16) - You need help! (59)

Oct 23, 2009 11:19 AM - Couples - by cheez

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My anal girlfriend wont give me head nowadays bcuz its not sanitary. We came to a compromise the other day that i woud have to use hand sanitizer on my penis before. I did and two things happened: I had a reaction to it and she accidentally bit it. Hard. FMP.

#32
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You are a genius! (4) - You need help! (46)

Oct 19, 2009 05:16 PM - Couples - by 129_n3d

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