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We've added a new category, 'interrupted' for those of you who get interrupted every time you want to get it on!!


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Today I wanted to watch a movie. I popped in what I thought was twilight. Apparently my 300 pound roommate made a sex tape with his fat girlfriend

#1244
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You are a genius! (2) - You need help! (13)

Aug 9, 2010 12:54 PM - Friends - by Jimmy chooo

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I was at a bar and this guy had been hitting on me all night. He was really hot and he invited me over to his house. We were about to get it on, when I remembered that I had adult diapers on because of this medical condition and I had gone number 2. I had to rush out and now I have to make up a lie as to why I did that. Fmp

#1243
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You are a genius! (3) - You need help! (11)

Aug 7, 2010 05:04 PM - Lying - by Anonymous

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my boyfriend never wants to fuck me anymore. FMP

#1242
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Aug 6, 2010 03:09 PM - Miscellaneous - by eew

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My girlfriend has not wanted any sex from me for the past 10 days because i forgot to share some cookies I bought with her. I tried buying more but now she says I only want sex from her. Fmp

#1241
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Aug 6, 2010 08:59 AM - Couples - by Foood

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I was messing around with a girl I had met only a couple hours earlier. We were in a public bathroom at a club, and I knew I wanted my penis inside her. I stuck my hand in her pants to play with her wet pussy, she seemed very excited. Then I took my hand out and i saw that it was covered in blood, immediately killing my sex drive and making me run out and wash my hands as if it was covered in acid. FmP

#1240
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You are a genius! (3) - You need help! (8)

Aug 5, 2010 07:41 AM - Interrupted - by Tubi666

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My wife told me my balls were getting too hairy so I shaved them. I accidentally cut my sack and have been unable to sit down since then.

#1239
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Aug 4, 2010 08:36 AM - Miscellaneous - by Tray songz

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Today I spent 8 hours stalking this girl I realy like. I finally got the balls to go up and talk to her, then she turned me down saying that she doesn't talk to customers outside of work. She's a stripper and confused me with someone else. Fmp

#1238
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You are a genius! (1) - You need help! (13)

Aug 3, 2010 12:31 PM - Lying - by Fity

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Am an Asian guy, so whenever I get in bed with a girl she's already expecting a small penis. They get really surprised when they see I have a monster 10 inch dick. A few days ago I met with a girl at a bar and went back to my place to mess around, she couldn't believe what I had in my pants and said she had never seen one so big. We tried having sex for about an hour, but ultimately failed, she was in too much pain and I didn't even get my penis 1/4 of the way in her. She ended up feeling bad and giving me a half hand job half awkward blow job. Fmp

#1237
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You are a genius! (3) - You need help! (10)

Aug 3, 2010 08:08 AM - Strangers - by Li

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